


Reviews on this site are now ranked out of 5 beards... because stars are just too mainstream.
Review: Death Wish
“John McClane is chased by Hank from Breaking Bad, and suddenly I’m dreaming of watching better things…..” On the surface, Death Wish...
Review: Black Panther
“A more gritty film in the Marvel Cinematic universe than previous entries, this film manages to restore some sense of consequence to...
Review: Red Sparrow
“A dense slow burning plot, filled with enough intrigue that leads to a strong ending, however, some viewers will struggle with the...
Review: Game Night
“Game Night’s title alone reminds one of the movie Date Night. It has a similar plot and set up. Married couple, misunderstanding, people...
Review: Lady Bird
“The current darling of the critics, sitting with a 99% score on Rotten tomatoes. But is it as great as the hype would suggest?” Every...
Review: I, Tonya
“Stunning performances from the cast, but the more the film tries to be creative and innovative to avoid being just another bio flick,...
Review: The Shape of Water
“If Aquaman was filmed as a bizarre fairy tale love story… this could be it.” The Shape of Water never claims to be anything other than a...
Review: Molly's Game
“A witty, thoroughly entertaining film that frames the story in an interesting way and keeps you invested throughout.” Writer and...
Review: Swinging Safari
“An assault on the senses, as every possible Australian 1970s reference is hurled at you in 96 minutes of pure chaos and madness. But is...
Review: Darkest Hour
“Gary Oldman brings his A game and may be headed for an Oscar.” Winston Churchill may be a man who will never get a full biography film...
Review: Pitch Perfect 3
"Number one was painful, number two was dreadful. Number three has to be good yeah?" Are you tired of lazy writing, cliché jokes, and...
Review: All the Money in the World
“A slow burning gritty true story from Ridley Scott, and yes, minus Kevin Spacey.” This film had become famous before it was released,...
Review: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
"In this film, Francis McDormand kicks two high school students, a boy and a girl, in the crotch. Just go with it..." My first cinema...














