Review: Crazy Rich Asians

“I see the 93% on Rotten Tomatoes. I see all the four star ratings. I see the box office success. What I didn’t see, was a film worthy of the praise. This was a seriously boring movie.”

I know, the film is a special event for many people, and yes its great to see films with non-American casts. But I only looked at the film for its story telling and performances from the cast, and whilst the performances were fine overall, the story was exceptionally dragged out and surprisingly stale. As a rom-com it wasn’t overly funny, and it wasn’t overly romantic.

There were some amazing sets and locations, but the characters felt very two dimensional. The story is pretty generic: Rich successful son lives away from home and brings home common (and apparently poor… so poor she’s a professor at NYU) girlfriend for mother (and grandmother) to disapprove of. She of course fights to prove her worth and win them over. In between, we get lots of wacky friends, lingering shots of the wealthy lifestyles (which certainly don’t want you to see any hint of real poor people), bitchy jealous girls who are mean to our heroine, and naturally the boy will give it all up to be with the girl he loves, but of course, we can’t have that happen.

There was a lot of shirtless men in this movie, with the camera lingering for long periods of time on them.

There are several very oddly edited scenes (in the first act especially) which feel confusing, and the pace is terribly slow. There are way too many characters and subplots with them, that some of the more important story points are lost in the sea of mediocre clichés.

Oh and of course, we had to get a make-over montage, and a cameo from Ken Jeong (of The Hangover).

Henry Golding did a solid job in his debut movie (is it just me, or does his voice sound a lot like Henry Cavill? My wife says it’s just me…)

The role didn't require an awful lot of him, but he had a enough charm and poise to make him believable as the mega rich but nice guy Nick.

Constance Wu has a tough time trying to play the ‘perfect girl’ when the script doesn’t really give her a lot of moments to give us reason to really believe in her.

Overall, it was a bit of a slog to sit through, especially the first half. The film should have been 90-100 minutes long, yet ran 120 minutes and felt much longer.

We're gonna need a montage, Ooh it takes a montage. Show a lot of things happing at once Remind everyone of what's going on (What's going on?) And with every shot you show a little improvement, To show it all would take to long

The five bearded questions:

1. Was it worth a cinema trip? No.

2. Would I See It Again at the Cinema? No.

3. Would I buy it on Blu-ray: (only films I really love get bought these days) No 4. Do I Recommend people see it? No

5. Any cheese/ Disney style bullshit?: (such as jokes wedged in at serious moments, because fun!). There was very little humour overall.